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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days

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• (904): View more from Florida

  I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  she said she was living bicuriously through me.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.

  (239): View more from Florida

  that is the opposite of a normal text message.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.

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• (415): View more from California

  turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Yes. Highly encouraged though.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch

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