i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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