I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
