I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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