I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
