I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
