Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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