What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
