theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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