thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
