You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So many bounce houses so little time
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
