The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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