I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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