she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
