i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
this beer tastes like vomit already
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i've created a new STD.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
