I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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