in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
