how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize