where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I had to cum in my sink.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
