not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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