Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
