I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize