i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
