Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
