I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
So. Much. Porn.
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