can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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