youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You're like the curious george of whores
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
