she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Houston, we have a squirter
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
