it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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