you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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