Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Just high enough for therapy.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
