You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
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