Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
