If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
