I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
