my mouth tastes like poor choices
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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