I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize