Your face is a jimmy john
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
