Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
