On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
