I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
