i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
where are my eyebrows?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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