Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
