I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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