Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
