He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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