Dual....:-)
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
