Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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