just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
