Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
