I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I am one with the molecules
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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