We're facebook friends in real life
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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