No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
We have so much sex to catch up on
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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