I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize