this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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