And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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