Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize