Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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