Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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