This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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