just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
