See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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