can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
