Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
is that a dick in a sweater?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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