Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
